At what point does a person stop being someone in distress and become a case number to be managed?
Mental health distress is often understood as something that begins within a person, shaped by life experiences, relationships or illness. Yet sometimes distress can also emerge from the systems people must navigate when seeking help. It is not always the event itself that becomes overwhelming, but the repeated need to explain, evidence and revisit deeply personal experiences. What begins as a search for support can gradually become another source of emotional exhaustion. In this way, mental health is not only influenced by what has happened to someone, but shaped by the processes they must navigate to be heard, believed and supported.
Rarely is it one assessment, one form or one conversation that creates distress. More often, it is the cumulative impact of repeatedly explaining the same experiences to different organisations, each working independently and each requiring their own understanding before support can be offered. While every request for information may be reasonable in isolation, together they can unintentionally become emotionally demanding, requiring people to revisit painful memories time and time again, leaving them feeling that some of the most private aspects of their lives are no longer their own.
In my experience, it wasn’t that people were trying to make life difficult. It was that they were trying to understand a story they hadn’t heard before – or perhaps had never fully understood. The difficulty was that, across different organisations, I found myself telling the same story over and over again because each organisation needed to understand it for themselves.
This experience may resonate with many, and it is one I have also lived. Looking back, I can now see how the cumulative impact on my mental health developed so gradually that I barely noticed. I wasn’t simply navigating different organisations, I was trying to help each one understand my circumstances, so they could support and accept me for who I am.
As the process continued, I realised there was something else I needed people to understand. My vulnerability did not begin when I asked for support; it existed long before that moment. Like everyone else, my life has been shaped by experiences, circumstances and challenges that are unique to me. Equality is often about ensuring people have access to the same opportunities, but equity recognises that different people may need different forms of support to reach those opportunities. Without that understanding, the process can unintentionally become another barrier rather than a pathway to support.
I found myself becoming increasingly reclusive, withdrawing from the outside world and saying less. The facts had not changed, nor had my circumstances. Over time, I had simply reached a point where I no longer knew what else I could say. My silence was not the absence of a story; it was the consequence of telling it so many times.
Having a compassionate practice is not about removing every form, assessment or process. Organisations have responsibilities, and decisions often require evidence. Rather, it begins with recognising that the most meaningful adjustment is not always changing the decision itself, but changing how a person is supported through the process of reaching it. Listening, flexibility, trust and understanding can help ensure that people feel seen as individuals rather than defined by their paperwork and evidence.
Now, through pausing and reflecting on my own journey, I no longer believe that there is one moment when someone in distress becomes a case number to be managed. It happens gradually, often unnoticed, through repeated explanations, assessments and requests to revisit the same experiences.
Perhaps we should be asking not only whether someone qualifies for support, but whether, throughout the process of seeking that support, they are still able to hold on to their sense of personhood.
About Donna
Donna Samantha is a Psychology and Counselling student at Arden University whose journey has been shaped by resilience, personal growth and finding her voice. She hopes to use both her studies and lived experience to create understanding, encourage positive change and help others recognise that their story does not have to end where others may have expected it to.